The Balance of Guilt and Perfectionism
As the holidays came and went, I thought about the illusion of the perfect present, the perfect family or the perfect hostess. For many rushing around equates having the Christmas spirit. Shopping too much. Too many parties. Eating too much. Of course we want a wonderful holiday. We want others to enjoy our gifts and cookies. But trying to create the "perfect" holiday may be an unreasonable expectation for us. If we do not live up to our expectations or try to achieve our perfect holiday then we feel guilty. What a rollercoaster!
I will share what I learned this holiday. I learned that I have limits. I learned that I am not perfect! Whew! I learned that my family has quirks. I learned that Christmas is in my heart and I appreciate the abundance of love and beauty that surrounds me.
For me, guilt is for the person who committs crimes against society and not for me for making ugly cut out cookies. If I feel guilty for not being perfect then I am using guilt as a way of punishing myself. In fact, if I feel guilty then I am believing in the illusion of perfectionism. My goal is to be real and accept myself, love others and do the best that I can with what I have. There is no room for perfectionism and guilt.

Expectations
Molly and I went for a walk on this gloomy day. It is the holiday season and juggling work commitments along with family traditions is a real balancing act. In the past few days I finished my 2007 art goals and action plans. For a while I felt overwhelmed. Then I had to question myself: What do I expect from myself? Are these expectations reasonable? What happen if illness, car problems or other unexpected things happen? How would my plans change? In other words, what is really important to me and how comfortable am I with giving up some professional goal or changing personal realtionships? It is important to me to feel settled emotionally with my choices. I have to feell comfortable in my own skin. Creating art is very important to me. If I am not in the studio playing and creating on a routine basis then I feel somewhat incomplete. To create is to breathe. It nutures my soul. However I must also live in the world of "to do lists". Arriving at an easy flow of daily life requires continual adjustments so that life feels light and easy. What are your expectation? How do you balance your soul work with common life responsiblilities?

A Day of Rest
After forcing myself to chill out or take a day to do whatever I want, I have come to one small conclusion about life. We worry and fret over the "big" things in life. We quickly dismiss the small and seemingly insignificant happenings. What authors, wise people and old people will tell you is that life happens when we give our attention to the small things and relax during the big events.